what do you do

...when you meet someone who's fond of generalizations and who drops statements without any disclaimers? The usual answer would no doubt be, a feeling of annoyance toward said person. But what if you were forced to be stuck with said person for a period of time and you have absolutely no choice in the matter. You cannot choose to leave (unless you are willing to forfeit some sum of money) and you cannot choose to ignore (because you'll have to provide feedback on your time together). What would you do then? Well, quoting a favorite line...

"I'll just have to answer my own question."

The answer of course is to endure. Though not to endure alone, mind you. Now and then, enduring with some company helps lessen the weight of your predicament because others can empathize. And empathize with company we did.

This is not my usual cup of tea but for you? and for a friend?...I'll make an exception.

Today is the day that our time together expires and we are all extremely happy to bid you a hearty adieu. Though I am unsure if my statement stands for us all, I am sure that most that I know feels that way.

Note: See, i disclaim and not assume that everyone thinks so.

Should you be remiss to realize that this entry is dedicated to you, then, allow me to remedy my error by stating that this is for you Ms. Gasoline (as a friend so fondly nicknamed). And on behalf of most of us who share my personal sentiments, this is what we have to say...

It would be so rude to dismiss the time we spent together as a waste of space in our personal hard drives. And it would be absolutely improper to not acknowledge that despite everything that we've gone through, something was conveyed and acquired by our minds. So it is only right of us to take our white hats off and thank you for the moments of communal exasperation that you have provided us all and of course, let's not forget, even those information that we have not asked to learn.

Short as the time we have shared, it would be with great pleasure to say that we will miss you (simply because most of us would no longer have a reason to share infuriation) and that we really hope to get another opportunity to be yet again, stuck with someone like you.

However, as the author Oscar Wilde states (yes, some of us, although I am sure that most, do read and can quote), I am not young enough to know everything.

...and my judgement has already been marred by my growth. Therefore whatever that may have been said here may be true...or not.

Photo source: http://dark-scythe.deviantart.com/art/Goodbye-27610907?q=1&qo=1

fever

...can lead to a lot of things including a bout of lethargy and absolute laziness. but of course, how can you work properly when you're too busy being preoccupied by the very nasty dizzy spells and the very persistent episodes of nausea.

therefore I conclude that it is only justified that I have missed two days in my promise to blog, at the very least, once a day. however, that's just some bull crap reasoning to make myself feel better for skipping a commitment and a personal one no less.

so moving along...

Yours truly is now back in business with only an irritating dull ache in the head to deal with. and the topic for the day? adventures.

For an art course, we were forced to go down memory lane and hunt for pictures from the past in order to apply the design principles that we've learned. Naturally when one goes about doing such a thing, unless your heart's set in stone, you can't help but feel that flow of emotion that those old collection of pictures evoke.

Sifting through the photographs made me realize that the adventures do at some point, stop. It can be at any moment or period in time. But it does stop...or maybe just pause. You'll never truly know.

Though where it stops, a new adventure begins...but with different people and never the same ones. And that's what makes it so melancholy...the thought that though a new chapter of adventure begins, the previous chapter had to come to a close. It would be nice to revisit those old chapters, just for the sake of reliving the moment again. Yet that's the main reason why they now belong to the book of memories. Because that's what they are now; memories.

For every chapter of adventure that closes, a new one begins. However sometimes letting go of the old chapters that have already been committed to the book of the past is a veracity that is just...too hard to accept. Especially when you realize how much was lost when that chapter had to close.

That's the way how life is, nonetheless. C'est la vie. It's an unstoppable force that's married to time. The world changes everyday as it revolves about the axis and everyone, including you, has to grow up and change with it. And change isn't always bad...sometimes it's for the best.

Photo source: http://toxiclovekid.deviantart.com/art/A-Walk-To-Remember-88484097?q=1&qo=1

i find myself

searching for something to do. but in reality, I already have a long list of to do's waiting for me.

Yet strangely, I don't feel like being productive and I don't want to do them.

And at the very same time, I want to get started on them immediately because the time is ticking by and it would not pause and wait for me to get in the mood.

hmm...what to do. what to do?

maybe i'll get started on you schoolwork then move on to the other deadlines.

too many things to do...too lazy to pick myself up and start to work.

time oh time. please could you just freeze for a moment and wait for me to catch up?

I shall blog another day and leave with these useless musings.

smile

and the world will smile with you. frown and...technically you would never frown alone.

Anyone can list a million reasons to smile...though I bet, anyone can list more than a million reasons to frown.

The world is not a perfect place and every nook and cranny will possess a flaw that will make us pause...

and think: this isn't right

and then cause our faces to morph into an expression more popularly knows as a frown. Ideally it would be better to smile. And people have all these supporting trivial facts that says it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Though have you ever tried smiling so much in a day? Have you ever smiled so much in a day and claim that you have not frowned - not even once - during that same day?

Well I wouldn't know about you but, I guess I have tried smiling so much in a day but I could never recall ever smiling so much and never frowning at all as well. Whatever the case, smiling is a healthy practice no matter what the situation you might find yourself holed in. Mind you, not the fake kind of smile practice, but the real ones are often accompanied by euphoria or simply a great deal of relief. It can even be kind of a pass over to help you overcome whatever tension you might be straining on. Sometimes it can even help you find momentary peace.

The best reason to smile?

...is to smile in appreciation of another day and to be thankful for that day and everything that you currently have in your life.

For which I do and for which I am. There may be more reasons to frown sometimes but the reasons to smile are the ones that come with memories we are bound to cherish in our lifetimes.

So smile. And the world will definitely smile with you. Though a frown would also be healthy every once in a while.

Photo source: http://thesweetblackmadness.deviantart.com/art/SMILE-128227821?q=1&qo=1

disappointment

is the first thing that you feel when you hear and witness something that seem so sad to even contemplate.

In order for there to be clarity in this discussion, a revisit on the previous phone conversation me and my mother had must be reviewed. The topic on the close acquaintances that our family kept was broached and me and my mother talked about how shallow most of them are. And it greatly disappointed me that the highest ambition they had in life was to simply marry into a rich family and that's about it. It's so disheartening to learn that there are people who see so little of the world and not the world in it's entirety and all the possibilities and opportunities it has to offer. The world is grand and it's massive and it's figuratively ours for the taking. So why not cease the day and live it to it's full potential? Carpe Diem!

and another disappointment today...

is to learn that those who you could really count on during the hardest moments in your life are very few. The word sadness can't even encapsulate the emotion that I feel right now. Only now have I realized that friendship is indeed a very rare luxury which you could treasure. But among those trinkets, only a handful are genuine precious stones whose worth could never be converted into any amount of money. Though this unhappy epiphany, I am ironically happy to have learned this valuable piece of information.

and thus a HUG is in order...

for only this kind of human comfort can remedy a feeling that can never be translated into mere words.

it has recently dawned

on me that...

and that it was very wrong of me to...because you...

as per usual this again adds to my list of regrets. But then the realization just dawned on me and it never occurred to me that you're one in a million and that you belong to that very few.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Then...things might have turned out much differently.

But we can only so much dwell on regret for one moment. We can never really live in it forever. It took...to appreciate how much of a difference you've made in my life and it took...to realize how very rare you are. And now I'm...but then it's gone and I doubt it'll return and now you're already....

If only...if only...and if only.

There might even be more than a thousand if only's but it would not obscure the reality that I need to move on from this realization.

everything

has suddenly flown off through the window.

whoosh.